"Cookies make me happy"

I nannied for the most wonderful people/family last semester and go back about once a week or so to give the parents a break and to earn some extra cash. However, Id do it for free because the kids are fabulous--just dont tell. It took some time to reign "CR" in but he finally knows my rules ;)

This morning I walk in asking the question I always ask...
Me: What are we doing today?
CR: Well moms at the beach and left us the kitchen. So were making cookies.
Me: Oh we are, are we? whys that?
CR: because cookies make me happy and I want to be happy all day.

...a kid after my own heart :p

The finished product! Our hands were far too messy to take pictures during our making but it was quite fun!

Then baby C woke up from her morning nap and joined us!

CR wanted to take some pictures :)

I absolutely love this family and it has been such a blessing seeing Baby C learn to crawl, growl and now blow raspberries. Or watching CR be this shy little munchkin to the loudest most active and imaginative little man ever. I feel so grateful to the parents for letting me get my kid fix and borrow theirs from time to time. Lucky lucky me!

Lifes Unexpected Blessings.

This next sentence may sound dramatic but I promise it is true to a certain degree. When things go awry boy do they go awry! I wont go into the nitty gritty details because they are not that important...However, it started with some of the most awful news from my father on Monday followed by a slew of other situations throughout the week. Years ago, when I would feel overwhelmed by life I'd do something impulsive (i.e. drop everything and move to Colorado) However, I have found a new outlet that is a million times more productive and a million times cheaper!

I've never been extraordinarily confident in my writing, but I've journaled since I was 12...and still have said journals. In the past two months or so I have kicked it up a notch and started a prayer journal. I've never felt more at peace in such chaotic times. My prayer journal is new, its exciting, its complicated, its oddly uncomfortable while feeling natural at times, its cathartic, and ultimately its perfection. Not that my writing is perfection, but the fact I can sit anywhere, talk to God about anything, feel like its productive, and leave feeling peaceful and positive, is perfection.

So, point being... For anyone who feels overwhelmed, stressed, uncertain, or excited, joyful, or sunny...a journal, prayer based or not, can always be handy! And if not...just have a fabulous nanny family that says be here at 6 and you walk in to the most adorable, fabulous, loving, insane, fun, goofy, 3 year old boy holding this...

(Coffee ice cream with caramel, chocolate, whipped cream and a smile)

Inspiration

I need to come up with better titles...but bear with me while my creativity is momentarily off par. As for this specific post I think the pictures say it all without my added commentary... but I do hope they inspire you some. :)

photo credits: http://icecreamisbetterwithafork.tumblr.com/

Lost and Found.

(Im posting two in one day for 2 reasons. One im snowed in and so utterly bored and 2 Lauren peer pressured me via skype.)

I love cards, especially random "because its Tuesday" or "you popped into my mind" or "just because" cards. I think it all is rooted in my childhood. I can vividly remember my dad leaving my mom post it notes with cute little messages hidden in the most odd places of the house. I can remember learning to read, and rather than a standard Doctor Seuss or ABC book, it was a card my dad had written me. This obsession with cards only progressed when I started working at the flower shop and got to see a plethora of cards every day. My favorite were always the ones that made no sense to me but made perfect sense to the couple involved. I always thought those cards had something far more special and sincere than the typical "i love you" or "thinking of you" cards.

When I moved a few weeks ago I found a shoe box of cards I had kept. It was the holy grail of cards. I had a few from my parents, best friend, a few notes from middle school folded into that obnoxious little triangle that I couldn't fold today to save my life, some from past relationships, and some from people who are no longer around.

Here are some of my favorite lines...

"You're the person I text in the bathroom stall when someone does something funny in the stall next to me."

"I realize how fun it was to hang out with the two most NASTIEST (B-town term) people ever with no school and a load of mountain dew and food."

"Love you baby girl. I am so very proud of you and how much you have grown up these past few years. I hope you have an incredible time at school. Don't let the books get in the way of your education and remember to always take the risk."

"Happy Birthday Sis, now that youre moving can I have your car?"

"Wait! You slam-a-jamed the tiger? What about hunk-a-dory-ing the lion?"

me: "Seriously? well, we have to get some before"

ash: "Seriously...ya definitely we can skip tomorrow??.

Mr. Nelson: "Seriously, stop writing notes in my class. See you at 3 for detention."

"Roses are red, violets are blue, I get so happy, when I think of you. I love how corny that is!"

"I miss the way you crack all your fingers, followed by your shoulders, neck and then back."

...I remember finding this note in my lunch every Friday until high school..."Have a wonderful day at school! Love you!"

"Sis, I hope you have an awesome 16th birthday. I hope you know that when you babysit me and I get up after you tuck me into bed, I'm not pushing my bedtime back, but I really have to pee..."

"Really. Its always been you Rach."

"I cant wait for you to come HOME to Boston and we can snuggle, and listen to Backstreet Boys and Nsync and have little debs bring us food in bed."

M: "want to go to the soccer game on Friday?"

me"no"

M: "Why?"

me"your kinda odd."

M: "how about the football game?"

me "take a hint kid!"

"Just wanted you to know I'm praying...take your time, ask, ask, ask as many questions as you can think of, and enjoy the ride!"

"Love, Your very own Mr. Darcy"

Cooped up on a snow day!

Being snowed in I must say is quite fun but insanely boring when your roommate gets snowed in elsewhere...so! In light of said boredom I compiled a mosh posh of pictures...

I'm really grateful for my family including all the insanity they bring in tow.

I miss...

My favorite movies are currently...

I love the following people more than this blog could ever convey....

I could eat the following everyday, all day, twice a day....

I want nothing more than...

Slowing Down

I write this post as I'm on a train coming home from Newburyport I spent an entire weekend with one of my first school friends who I've (surprisingly) kept in touch with through all my moves! We spent the weekend shopping, playing in the snow with two fabulous black labs, shucking shrimp,etc! I outline this all because for anyone that knows me, I'd assume they'd agree when I say I don't stop. I can think of a million and one things I should have been accomplishing this weekend. Organize my school supplies, finish setting up my new apartment, ordering next semesters books, run, do laundry, clean out the grotesque fridge...the list goes on and on. I fill each day with so much stuff, even if it as simple as watching a movie, so that I don't have to think. I mastered this when I lived in Colorado.

I surrounded myself with an array of people, countless hiking trips, endless hours of work and studying, topped off with a few hours of restless sleep. Don't get me wrong I think everything I listed is perfectly acceptable in moderation, however I'd argue I missed a lot of things by going so fast. I'd say I began to feel guilty and irresponsible if I wasn't doing something productive 24/7.

This train ride alone to Newburyport has forced me to stop. I packed at 130am last Friday and forgot both a book and an ipod, so I'm left with nothing but my thoughts...an excruciatingly frightful thought. This pushing is such a way of life for me, I barely know how to survive otherwise. I'm constantly working to try and control my life and the certain outcomes of particular situations. I heave myself at life consistently looking for ways to make things precisely the way I want them. Again, not a horrible quality, Ill defend myself and say that some action does need to be taken in our own lives, but I'm trying (or tried) to control everything.

There are particular forces driving the reasons behind why I live this way. I know exactly why I'm striving and pushing. It stems from not wanting to believe or deal, and a fear that my life is all up to me. I've got this mentality at times to get so far ahead before the floor falls out from underneath me. Its awful. Not only do I set myself up for failure but I leave no room for error. Its odd because I'm typically a very go with the flow type person...I can pretty much pin-point the 3-3.5 years where I felt like I had no control over a particular relationship and so I over compensated with controlling work, and school, and money, etc.

This has all changed in the last month to two months. I've not only realized but truly accepted the fact there is utterly no possible way I can control everything, and I don't really want or feel the need to anymore. I think I've looked to God to guide me to the right situations (new apt) and decisions (job...) And trust hell plan for me. I have to admit, I've never felt less stressed when normally I'd feel immensely overwhelmed right now. Its pretty stinking liberating!

This comes full circle with Newburyport and the title of this particular post. I almost didn't come on this trip. I was skeptical about spending money with no steady income and felt I should spend the weekend walking into every possible store asking if they were hiring. However, i decided to go. I can't tell you how happy I am that I did. Not only was it a wonderful weekend away in nature which I absolutely adore, but its a way to reconnect with my friend from college and build a better friendship, something that no job can replace.

**The pictures are from Point Lookout resort in Maine...its where my friends sister is getting married in Aug...and its BEAUTIFUL!**

Ireland Bound!

I could possibly have had a better morning and I had to blog about it. Here is the play by play...

9 am-- I woke up to one of my very best friends who I rarely see.

10 am-- I have been looking and holding out for the perfect job medically related...and have been avidly praying that something will come through. This morning I got a call from Childrens Hospital in Boston. NOTHING is a done deal yet, but the fact that I got through the first round of interviews was so encouraging. So everyone, keep your fingers crossed and keep praying that I get this job!

10:30 am-- I skyped with my very best friend who is studying abroad in Ireland. Just seeing her cute little face, and hearing how much fun she is having and how different everything is there was really neat and encouraging. I really wanted to visit her and was just skeptical because of financial issues, feeling like spending almost 650 on a plane ticket alone was too much...however...

11:00 am--I BOOKED A TICKET FOR LESS THAN 450 TO IRELAND FOR 9 DAYS! ...and two AMAZING perks...one-I have a 6 hour layover in the only city I have ever wanted to kill to visit...PARIS! I plan on leaving the airport even if it is for 2o minutes, even if I have to stand through 2 hours of security again, just to touch Paris! AND two...ill be in Ireland on St Patricks day!! Hello Beer, Fish and Chips, Blue skies, and Greeeeen waters! :)

I feel so encouraged and uplifted and unstoppable. I'm on such a happy high right now I cannot even explain it!

Hope everyone else out there is having a splendid morning!

I had to do it...

Well I feel there is some what no point to a blog if I don't write some cliche new years resolution post...so here we go!

UN- Make new friends and really try to put myself out there with new people...I want to make these new friends without the expectations of them disappointing me.

DEUX- Learn AND memorize how to make the perfect pie and lasagna from scratch including the crust(pie..duh) and possibly noodles!

TROIS- Id like to be fit and live a healthier lifestyle.

QUATRE- Go to Ireland to see the my best gal friend! laureno! :)

CINQ-Grow deeper in my relationships with friends, family, and cute little madigans.

SIX- Learn better French...hence the counting mechanism of this particular blog.

SEPT- Increase my pathetic movie collection without spending an ungodly amount of money.

HUIT- Perform more random acts of kindness...if possible every day...even if that means flipping penny over, heads up, for someone else to find.

NEUF- Jump as far and often as possible out of my comfort zone.

DIX- Learn to dance...in like a ballroom cute swaying type way...AND have the guts to dance in public...anytime...anywhere.

ONZE- Build a time capsule or a letter...to open in a few years. Fill it with all my wants, needs, current passions.

DOUZE- Make straight As this semester...aka...work my bum off without losing the motivation.

QUATORZE- Relax.

I think this is my most important and relevant resolution. Therefore, I refuse to limit it to 2011 alone. This is my lifelong resolution. There is one particular "thing" I've actively tried to push away for the better part of my teen and adult life. My plan is to vigorously strive to trust, love, understand, search and believe in this particular mystery thing. (My mystery "thing" is probably far more obvious than I assume...)